The Raw Glow Blog

How to Increase Your Feelings of Self Love and Self Worth

Print Friendly
Share Button

A Painting of a Heart

To some it might sound trite, but I’ve come to believe that the thoughts that you feed your body are just as important as the food that you feed it. Just as much as I am passionate about healthy food, I’m passionate about having the knowledge and ability to consciously create your life how you want it. I am an eternal student of the Law of Attraction and I wanted to share some of my thoughts about the importance of self love and self worth in our lives, especially as woman.

 If you believe in the Law of Attraction then you believe that the universe matches your vibration and your reality directly correlates to the vibrational signal you are sending out. Then imagine what would happen if you really started loving and adoring yourself, imagine the change in your vibration, and imagine what the universe would bring. Imagine how your body would feel if you showered it with love and praise on a daily basis. Imagine how your relationships would change. If you love you, others will mirror you, and treat you based on your feelings of self worth. What I have learned is that the more you love yourself the more open you are to the abundance of the universe because you truly believe that you deserve all the good things that this life has to offer. Also, you’re more apt to make decisions that are the best for you, that honor your body and enrich your life.

I don’t consider myself a master by any means, but I have learned a few techniques about increasing your self love and sense of self worth that I wanted to share with you:

  • You don’t need to work for or to keep someone’s love for you. The people that matter in your life will love you, simply for being you.

For example: In my twenties I chose partners that I didn’t feel I was good enough for, so I went out of my way to please them so they would “love me” and I would loose myself along the way. It wasn’t until my thirties that I was comfortable with being myself and being loved for who I am faults and all.

Now that I’ve found truly a special person who loves me unconditionally,  a fear I have had is that I might not be good enough to keep his love. One of the things that has really helped me is the realization that my husband loves me for my heart, my energy, and the love I give. I finally realized that he loves my presence and my being and there is no action that I have to take, all I have to do is be myself. This does not mean that I don’t take action in our relationship, but for me it has meant that I don’t have to live in fear and that I can just relax and receive his love. I also realized that everyone in my life who loves me feels the same, they love my presence and I don’t need to work for anyone’s love.

  • Notice your thoughts and self talk. Are you being nice to yourself? Be your own friend by being encouraging and forgiving to yourself everyday.
  • Make a list everyday of things to praise yourself about. Celebrate small accomplishments.
  • Don’t compare yourself others. Do YOUR personal best.

For example: I finally realized how hard I am on myself about my accomplishments or lack there of. I always used to compare myself to others, and berate myself for not being smarter, savier, and more productive. Just recently I realized I was in a negative self talk mode at least 6-8 hrs. a day!

What has helped me is to really notice my thoughts. Every hour I would take an inventory of what I was thinking and feeling. Once I realized that I was putting myself down often, I decided to change. First, I started by making a list of at least 10 things that I was really proud of myself for accomplishing before I went to bed. Even if they were small, like that fact that I stayed positive most of the day. Then I lowered my expectations for myself by not comparing myself to others. Of course I still want to constantly improve, but I had unrealistic expectations by comparing myself to others. What I realized is that the only person I need to compare myself to is me and I need to try to achieve my personal best, not someone else’s.

little girl making a wish

  • Write down or talk about your dreams, there are no dreams too small or too silly. Know that you deserve them all.

When my mother committed suicide it influenced how I felt about myself. I somehow felt less special for not having a mother around like the other kids, and that maybe that I wasn’t good enough for her to stay.

For example; I didn’t want anyone to make a fuss over me getting married, I wanted to elope and get it over with. It wasn’t until I got a reading from a medical intuitive, that she said that my mother wanted me to feel special and like a princess on my wedding day and that I didn’t need to feel less than because of the stigma of her death. This gave me the encouragement to have a really fun and special day.

This is still a tough one for me, but a fun exercise I have been doing lately to break my limitations about my own self worth and I what I deserve is by making fun dream lists. You can write them down, make a vision board, or talk about them with a loved one. Last night I told my husband a list of what I thought were really fun dreams; they got me giggling and they got me dreaming about all the wonderful things in my life that I deserve to have. 

Here are some of them:

1. I want a princess ballgown and tiara (for no reason, but just to feel special)I want to visit every island on this earth (for research purposes, of course:)
2. I want to sleep under the stars in a tropical location in one of those fancy mesh cabins ( I think I got that from the T.V. show the bachelor)
3. I want to go dress shopping and dancing in S.F. and eat at a fancy vegan 5 star restaurant and stay at a nice 5 star hotel. ( Millennium  here I come! )
4. I want my husband to repropose to me where I always dreamed of being proposed to as a little girl. (He was like, why didn’t you tell me in the first place?)
5. I want to go to the Academy of Sciences Planetarium in Golden Gate Park ( I used to do that as a little girl)
6. I want to go swim in some hot springs (need I say more?)
7. Get in touch with my femininity by taking some sensual dance classes (I’ve said too much!)

Most of the time when I talk about my goals they are so serious: make this much money by this time, bla, bla, bla. This exercise was different because my dream list was fun, maybe even a little silly and focused solely on pleasure.

heart shaped earth

  • Put yourself first, even if it means letting others down. The best thing you could do for anyone is to be happy.
  • Learn to feel good about yourself even if other’s around you aren’t pleased with you. Don’t let anyone determine how you should feel about yourself.

For example: I’ve had to quit stressful jobs that were draining my energy and making me sick even though it let down a few people.

Honoring yourself might mean at times that you have to put yourself first and let other people down, so don’t be afraid to be selfish. I’d rather be known as a happy healthy flake than a sick unhappy dependable person. Just be aware, that by putting yourself first there are other’s who will not be happy with you.

My first reaction when someone was not pleased with me was to automatically make it better and do anything to get back into their good graces, even if pleasing them meant demeaning myself. One thing that has helped me is to step back and meditate on the situation, and what I realized is that when someone doesn’t like me, I don’t die. Actually once I meditated and centered myself I forgot about the whole thing and chances are the person who was not pleased with me will get over it pretty quickly. If we let other’s determine our self worth then we are the whim of someone’s ever changing thoughts, like a puppet on a string. Peoples opinions of you will come and go, but your attitude about yourself can be a constant if you choose it to be.

  • When you look in the mirror only notice the positive and shower yourself with self love.
  • Adorn yourself with clothes and accessories that make you feel beautiful.
  • Give yourself some pampering once and awhile; you deserve it. 

According to Abraham:

“Since every perspective or thought that you have flows through the lens of your physical body, your attitude on virtually every subject is influenced by the way you feel about your physical body” 

From : Money, and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Wealth, Health, and Happiness

For example: For years whenever I looked in the mirror I would point out what I perceived to be all my physical shortcomings.

One of things that has helped me is to look in the mirror and smile at myself and compliment myself for how I look. Looking in the mirror after I use the restroom is now the time in my life where I shower myself with love and gratitude. I think things like: wow you look good for 32, or that my eyes look happy and bright, my hair is shinny, . . (etc.) I try to focus on the positive.

Another thing that has helped me is to find clothes, lingerie, that flatter my figure so that I feel beautiful and sexy. Every woman deserves to feel beautiful. It also helps to adorn yourself with beautiful jewelry, flowers in your hair, and any other little accessory that makes you feel like a woman. It is part of our unique feminine energy to adorn ourselves with treasures.

Another way of loving ourselves is to treat ourselves once an awhile. It could be as simple as scheduling a massage, buying a new sweater, making a delicious meal, or something big like scheduling a vacation. Just know that you deserve to be happy.

I hope some of my suggestions have been useful.  Increasing my feeling of self worth has definitely been a never ending learning process. Just when I’m feeling really good about myself, an experience in my life will trigger a painful thought and I’ll uncover another layer that is ready for healing. So don’t be discouraged, every little step in the right direction can build a delicious momentum.

I leave you with a poem I wrote a few years ago when I was going through a difficult time and I find it still rings true today.

a big pink heart

A Woman Who Knows Her Worth

A woman who knows her worth
knows it is not defined
by what anyone thinks of her or tells her
Not by money, material possessions, external beauty, and least not
by the size of her waist
It runs much much deeper than that
Her worth is in inherent
in every breath that she takes
Every cell in her body
a diamond
ringing , singing, vibrating in a glorious mantra
I AM WORTHY

A woman who knows her worth
knows she is enough
simply because
she was born
A seed planted of divine light
whose only job
IS TO BLOOM

 A woman who knows her worth
knows that her beauty
her enthusiasm for life
is glowing from the inside
and that people will flock from miles around
to watch her passion burn
Inflaming the world
WITH HER PRESENCE

A woman who knows her worth
never harms herself or puts herself in harms way
She never lets anyone make her feel less
than she is
All the lies that were told to her
and that she told herself about herself
are a thing of the past
She only sees herself through God’s eyes now
She finally sees the light about who she truly is
MAGNIFICENT BEYOND WONDER

 A woman who knows her worth
cultivates that great love in herself
for herself
everyday
She nurtures herself
by the things she does
the things she says
and the way she looks
at herself
in the mirror
She has learned
how not to give it
ALL AWAY

 A woman who knows her worth
sources her strength
from that
deep
inner
well
of conviction
She has the will to fight for what she believes in
And this time
what she believes in
happens to be
HERSELF

A woman who knows her worth
knows she deserves
all the love
and all the good things that this world has to offer
She owns them
She receives them with open arms
because she knows
in the very deep core of her being
she
IS WORTH IT

Links for further reading:

The Lefkoe Method
This is a belief eliminating program that you can use to get rid of self limiting beliefs like, “I’m Not Worthy”
Try it for Free Here:
http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free/

Confident-Vision-Living
 A free information website designed to help others connect with their power so they can make their life dreams come true.
http://www.confident-vision-living.com/

Question of the Day:
How do you to increase your feelings of  self worth and self love?

♥,
C

Share Button

17 comments

1 Christy Korrow { 11.21.09 at 2:46 pm }

Thank you for such a fun and inspiring post. I love how you are pairing the raw food path with the spiritual work of the law of attraction. Just listened to your talk at Cafe Gratitude (online). Congratulations on all of your amazing accomplishments!

2 Cecilia { 12.09.09 at 7:02 pm }

Hi Christy, thank you so much for your kind comments. I find that an improved diet goes hand in hand with a spiritual awakening. Thoughts are nutrition too!-love C

3 DianaLP { 01.23.10 at 2:01 am }

OMG IM NEW TO YOUR BLOG..AND I MUST SAY ITS JUST SO WONDERFUL THANK YOU FOR BEING SO ACCESSIBLE..AND YES BACK TO THE QUESTION I DO THIS BY NURTURING MY SOUL BY DOING THE THINGS I LOVE IN LIFE….MAKES ME CONFIDENT AND HAPPY!!!

4 Cecilia { 01.23.10 at 12:47 pm }

Hi Diana, Welcome! It is important to do the things we love in live. What kinda things do you love to do?
-C

5 DianaLP { 01.26.10 at 12:52 am }

Well I love writing my stories…of love and tragedy. Listening to Chakra or meditation CD's to soothe my mind and my environment. And gazing at nature…altough I live in the desert…I miss California….And listening to instrumental music.

6 Cecilia { 01.26.10 at 12:55 pm }

Hi Diana,
Thank you for sharing. I love chakra meditation C.D.'s and gazing at nature, and yes California is great for that!
Best,
C

7 Laura { 02.15.10 at 12:27 am }

Thank you so much for sharing this. I just discovered your site this evening and look forward to reading more! I just started a personal blog about my struggle with my diet and found your site very helpful.

8 Cecilia { 02.15.10 at 1:14 pm }

Hi Laura,
Beautiful blog. Best of luck,
Cecilia

9 Cecilia { 02.15.10 at 8:14 pm }

Hi Laura,
Beautiful blog. Best of luck,
Cecilia

10 Cari { 05.30.10 at 1:31 pm }

Such a lovely and deeply important post, thank you. I took notes! =)

I'm making a vision board (for the past month) and will add some quotes from here. I also want to do some of the things you suggest. I've never made a list of 10 things I'm proud of myself for or a dream list. How very fun!

I'm so glad I 'stumbled' on this article. Thank you and love to you and yours.

11 Cecilia { 05.31.10 at 4:42 am }

Hi Cari, thank you so much for your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed the article. I have my vision board right by my bed to look at everynight and every morning. They really work!!! Let me know how your vision board turns out.

12 Lisa { 06.19.10 at 2:31 pm }

What a wonderful post. Either you and I are similar, or you have hit upon the thoughts/habits/patterns/common dilemmas of most women.

I can relate to so much of this, even the part where you explain that sometimes when you starting feeling good, something else pops up that is difficult to deal with. I like how you look at that as finding a new part of you that's ready to heal (instead of what I usually look at it as: life tryin' to beat me down again : ) ).

13 Cecilia { 06.20.10 at 2:44 am }

Hi Lisa, first off thank you, I suspect that most women struggle with self worth issues, but I'd like to think we are alike too:)

Funny you should say, life tryin to beat me down again, because I just heard a spiritual healer/teacher say that her life changed when she realized that life was for her instead of against her and when she realized that any change is a good change. I've been embracing this thought, what a powerful concept.

14 Lisa { 06.20.10 at 2:27 pm }

Yes, that is a good concept! I do find that when I manage to pull off a positive thinking, ready-for-change attitude that I'm much better in sync with life, and brought more opportunities than obstacles.

15 Winsome { 08.11.10 at 1:28 am }

Hi Cecilia:
Thanks for all the inspiring stories and recipes on your website, I enjoyed browsing through. I enjoyed reading your story. I will be trying some of your recipes. I am aiming to be raw. Thank you
Winsome

16 firdaouss { 02.05.14 at 12:25 pm }

Hi Cecilia,
Thank you so much for this few words which open my tired heart and crying eyes to my priceless and good self. It is just words but they give me an impression about myself and they make me think that is time to stop torturing my beautiful and free self.

17 Cecilia { 02.05.14 at 2:43 pm }

Hi Fitdaouss,

You are beautiful and valuable and, yes, you desearve to treat yourself with much love and compassion.

Best Wishes,
Cecilia

Leave a Comment